Listen To The Full Monologue
1:18- "Indecent liberties" sounds like a good title for a Steven Seagal film.
3:46- National Geographic material, or cooter/titty shots?
4:00- Generation poverty is a serious matter; Women in Uganda have wrinkled tits due to unaffordability of Jergens moisturizer.
7:42- I display my vast knowledge of Third World women and their Banana shaped tits.
10:25- White women from North America never escape high school.
14:20- The Big question we had to ask, "Does Emily shave?"
15:59- We get all nostalgic for the 1980's; Women today need to stop wearing mom jeans.
20:00- We need more photos to determine guilt/level of outrage over Emily Durden.
All this and more epic rants in Part II (22:16 - 35:35)
The Report Card
Methodology
Emily's face has the words "Armature hour" written all over it. Teen cum could've taken its place if she hadn't fucked herself by spreading her nudies around like aids in African countries.
Emily was definitely too young to understand how to even come close to being the greatest female sex scandal teacher; she was still too old for those boys, too.
Mass marketing your assets to multiple Fortnite addicts is a sure fire way to set a blaze to what could've been, a romping good time for her cooter. She should've aimed a bit higher. Apparently, 15 is too old for Emily. Maybe if she would've marketed her tits and sliz to lets say a gaggle of 16 year olds, then maybe they would've have done such a sacrilegious thing: Reported her, immediately, to their parents and authorities.
Amateurs all around. Emily, you're a fucking disgrace to us all.
C
Integrity
19 years old, straight out of high school...only to go back again and fail spectacularly.
B+
Looks/Presentation
Somewhere, out there, is a plethora of pictures. A 19-year old party girl whose life is dedicated to seeking attention on social media. A white woman from North America has only but ONE retrievable picture on the internet.
Either Emily is a rare recluse in her demographic, or she is just not fucking trying to be great, at all!
Don't tell me you just used that one photo that we have and sent just that one to all those boys. No wonder they weren't interest and would rather open loot boxes instead of your legs after school!
Emily! Wake the fuck-up, sugar tits! This is the big leagues....you can't just come straight out of high school and think you know everything there is about being a female sex scandal teacher!
Clearly, you have some homework to do. There is a laundry list of dirty greats that we have covered over the years. Emily is an example of how these young chicks are just entitled to everything without paying their dues.
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