C|Suite Letters: She Can Do It All

C|Suite is a men's magazine founded by Frank Cervi. It combines urban/office life-style articles with soft-core pornographic pictorials. In recent years, C-Suite introduced the 'letters' column in which readers send in borderline ridiculous sexcapades, resulting often in explicit and unnecessary detail.

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Dear C|Suite,

Being the feisty career-gurl that I am, climbing-up the company ladder was a rather easy task. Thank goodness for diversity hiring practices and our culture's incessant and unnecessary need to pedistalize us women! However, there is one major problem I am currently having besides the gazillion other ones on my mind: I am always too busy to date and get my pussy dicked-down, hard.

Take the other day, for instance. I had been so busy in my corner office searching Facebook all morning for guys: Old flames and new embers that could possibly warm the deepest, coldest parts of my pussy. It's getting dusty down there,that's for sure. No cobwebs of cum; just actual ones and if you put an ear up to it you might even hear crickets; the echos of a stray dog moaning, haunting the walls of my vagina.

I'd been super productive all morning with this new task and goal I'd set for myself. Tinder, Bumble all fired-up; find men who either earn more than I do to have steady-sex with; settle for a hot fuck to satiate my carnal need for quality seed, even if he is unemployed.

Come to think of it, everyone around me has always said, "Gee, Cassie, you sure can multi-task!"

I am so amazing, I know!

Like this year, sure, the company that I am now currently managing was down in revenue, organic growth halted and we had almost $1 billion in write downs. And even with all of that going on around me, I've still manged to come into the office, mostly every day of the week; sit down at my computer and see if I can at least get my love life under control to start.

As they always say, 'Work to live; don't live to work!'

Well, I love that mantra...

I wish I could just sit on my ass, lay on my back all day long and do nothing!

However, us gals gotta do what we gotta do!

It's just work after all, it's not as important as my physical and mental health. Plus, our shareholders for some reason are super edgy and very mean!

Like, everyone needs to relax and get fucked. It doesn't help me, the head of the company, when I have literally thousands of men emailing and trying to call me every second of the day asking, "What's going on over there, is everything OK with company?" Seriously, that is so patronizing! Such misogynists!

Would a MAN be getting all of this hate mail? Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean all of these shareholders, clients and partners can just bombard me and stress me out like this! I am a CEO! Respect my authority!

If only the calls/emails coming-in were from men whom wanted to give me a table-pounding BUY, bid-up my pussy and ride the wave to euphoric levels....

Where was I? Oh, right....

Finally, my plea had been answered.

Late yesterday, I found myself rather horny and couldn't resist thinking about one of the new, hot interns that had just started working under me. Little did he know he was going to be working under me, like, literally...

His name is Chet; he made me hot, burned my loins like the coffee he split on me the first day he started with us.

That morning I had sent Chet the intern a very cordial email that in summary, briefly outlined my unbridled lust for his college-aged, cock.

He replied, promptly, with concurring feelings by letting me know that he, "Wanted to hit dat." 'Dat' referring to my Thirty-Something wet, dripping snatch.

Following the standard office procedural manual with regards to 'meetings' and 'set up' from section 69(a), I basically set up a meeting, with Chet, in order for us to discuss having a meeting (so we could fuck).

Later that afternoon, our meeting to set-up a meeting to fuck was scheduled in Conference room 6. The meeting was set for the standard 30 minutes. Chet was already in there before I walked in; he brought coffee for us both. Luckily he didn't spill any on my legs and get me all dripping with hot liquid. On second thought, I did still drip with hot liquid...

In the meeting to set-up the meeting for us to fuck, both Chet and I spent 5- minutes each giving a brief outline and synopsis about why it was we wanted to go-forth with this little project of ours. Chet spoke first and I last.

After our rousing anthematic outlines, we both took turns giving our Power Point presentations on possible locations for us to 'connect' and positions to use, structure to mount on or bend over.

Once both of us were satisfied with the options, I then speed-dialed the Royal Oaks golf course for a tee-off time so Chet and I could discuss the final details as foreplay. Drinks from the clubhouse were put on the company's credit card, of course.

Links and drinks....that's how you seal the deal.

Also, side note. Pro tip for female golfers: If you choose to wear a skirt on the course, go commando. Your vagina can be a second caddy. It's a special place to keep your putter instead of leaning on it for show, like how men do.

See, women can be practical, too!

After our round of golf, the next day Chet had found himself in my office getting scolded, by me. It was an act. The whole time that I was pretending to bust his balls out for nothing, I was busy again on my computer; shopping for sexy lingerie on the Victoria's Secret catalog.

The entire office bought it. My demands were for him to 'make it up to me' and 'work late' that night.

Fast forward to that evening, I found myself knees deep in cheap carpet; feeling Chet's swollen donger stretching my cheeks like he would my vagina, a little later on that night.

Yes, I went down on Chet faster than our company's stock.

Being bent over the break room table, the moment felt right. My vagina was teeming with excitement, enthusiastically dripping with consent. We had the forms from HR, a pen for both of us to sign. There was no need. I yelled, "Fuck it, just slam it into me already!"

I did it all that evening: Oral, anal and vaginal.

I had more semen on/in me than a Law & Order(SVU) victim!

Alas, I found out today that I am pregnant and will be leaving the company to pursue my new dream of being a single-mom. I just hope the next CEO can be just as amazing and productive as I was!

And to think, I did it all myself!

Yours truly horny,

Ms. Did it all

#erotica #satire #humor #culture